Israel, the Cosplay Nation

How Europeans Rewrote History, Invented Traditions, and Revived a Classical Language to Claim a Middle Eastern Land

Comrade Morlock

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Photo by Levi Meir Clancy on Unsplash

“If all nations would suddenly claim territory in which their forefathers had lived two thousand years ago, this world would be a madhouse.” — Erich Fromm

Nations are built on myths, legends, and lies. Israel’s European founders knew that well, so they made a country from bad history, stolen customs, fake traditions, and a revised language that had died in the 3rd century BC. That does not deny Israel’s right to exist — its right to exist was granted in 1947 with UN Resolution 181. It only denies that Israel has a right to any land beyond those 1947 borders. What follows can be interpreted as praise, because no nation has invented itself as quickly or as thoroughly as Israel.

To understand the scale of Israel’s founders’ task, you must know a few facts:

  • Before the birth of Israel in 1948, most Jews belonged to two European cultural groups. The largest, the Ashkenazim, are descendants of Jews from Germany, France, and Eastern Europe who spoke Yiddish, a Germanic language. Since they take their name from the Hebrew word for Germany, think of them as Germanic Jews. Before 1948, most Jewish immigrants to Palestine were Ashkenazim, which…

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Comrade Morlock

If you’re losing an argument with me and are too proud to admit defeat, please feel free to insult me instead.